Just thinking…

October 6, 2008 Rhonda M. Cartwright, BA, M.L.S

It’s been a while since I last posted a blog, but I have a little time on my hands and thought that this would be a great opportunity to do a little writing. Beware however. I have so many things on my mind so my blog will be jumbled, busy and lengthy. But hey, like I said, it’s been a minute. ;0) Anyway, I recently reconnected with people that I have not spoken to in over twenty years. All were former classmates at one point or another during my adolescent years. One in particular however stands out a bit from the rest. We were friends at one time, and then through a course of actions that I can’t even remember, we stopped talking. Well truthfully, he stopped talking to me but again I have no idea why.

I’ll be the first to admit that I was such a fool in my youth. I made bad choices, befriended the wrong people, really didn’t understand or value what it meant to be a friend and because of those “issues” I frequently ended up in the most precarious of situations. But as I’ve gotten older I have come to realize that I did the best that I could have done at that moment; I didn’t “know” any better.

My sister and I were talking about past relationships earlier today. Were they real? Part of me says yes, but then the other part says no. Yes, because logic states that it was what it was at that time. My heart says no because if it were real, those people would still be in my life or would have reached out to me in some way by now. I mean hey, no one is untraceable because with the internet you can find anybody. But here’s another spin on those thoughts: What if those relationships were very much real but only for that particular time and season? Maybe those past relationships were not meant to travel the road with me as their purposes only served that particular time in my life. It’s likely that this is the most probable answer because the irony in it is that I can’t remember how I “felt” with any of these people. It’s as if they are part of a dream dreamt a lifetime ago.

I want to reach out and pick up where we left off, but where is that exactly? Is it worth it? I guess for many, the answer is no. Some people that I have tried to reconnect with don’t desire the same with me and that’s okay. I think in their minds, the questions that I posed above have been questions in their own minds and hearts. It’s even plausible to believe that the relationship meant more to me than it did them, and again that’s okay. But experience has shown me that whether a relationship is past or present, the people who love you will love you regardless of your shortcomings because they recognize within themselves imperfection.

My friends then are STILL my friends NOW. Nonetheless, in all my thinking it still takes two to have a relationship. So if the one does not desire it now, you move on in peace knowing that all things work for the good of those who love the Lord. I do and it has!

But enough about that! How about Sarah Palin?? I’m sorry folks, I just don’t care for her. She presents as unauthentic…coached and mechanical. I hear so many people talk about how attractive she is and that’s cool, but what does that have to do with her ability to serve our nation as Vice-President?

Between her having a foreign policy background because she lives closest to Russia, her being attractive and a mother of five, her being a PTA mom and governor of a state that has fewer people per capita than the city of Cleveland, Ohio and as many minorities as the entire state of North Dakota… I’m thinking that I may run in four years. I mean heck, I belong to the PTA, I have worked with abused and neglected children for years on some government level, I travel the country extensively and I’ve even traveled out of the country [to Canada and the Bahamas] which supports my foreign policy abilities, I am a staunch advocate of pro-environment initiatives, I am multi-ethnic so I can work with anybody and everybody, I’m a mother of two and I feel I’m attractive (it all starts with how you feel about yourself you know), and I’m in a stable relationship as I have been married for almost fourteen years. VP should be a cinch for me! No really…

I’ve also been watching all the happenings of the recession that I know we’re in as evidenced by our current economic crisis. But what’s strange is that life goes on doesn’t it? People don’t stop living, that’s just maneuver around it. But God be with those who are really suffering as a result of job loss, a loved one serving our nation in the war, or those suffering because of a lack of health-care. I pray that the universe will shift; isn’t it time? Many who have led have been so greedy and unconcerned about their fellow man. What we proclaim as a nation and what we do as a nation just doesn’t match. I pray that Obama will win; I think he has what it takes to bring light to a darkened world. I pray he does anyway…

Well, that’s it for me this evening. But I welcome comments to the things that I have written, so if you have the time drop me a dime. After all, I’m just thinking…

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